Lift off

I gave this whole blogging adventure some thought today. I tried to delve deep into why in the world I have this craving to write. I love expressing myself via the written word and can do it clearer than in face to face conversation. Not to say that I'm incapable or uncomfortable having small talk, but there has always been a bit of hesitation on my part. A sense that I won't live up to 'pleasing that person'. To sum it up, I'm just too 'nice'. See I'm someone who likes 'nice' people and strives to be one. When I talk to someone, I focus upon "them". What do they want to talk about? How can I make them happy? Why would they be concerned with my viewpoints? It must be the inner mom in me. Always focusing on caring for others. Well in writing I have discovered a great sense of freedom. All those 'niceties' become irrelevant. I am who I am. I will say what I want to say without hesitation. Kind of empowering considering how many years I've spent walking away from people asking myself, did they like me? Did I say the right words? Now, I don't have to really care. And it's awesome. I walk with a more confident stride, speak without such caution and know that life can be about ME sometimes. What do I have to contribute? Well here you have it. Completely unabashed, exposed me. Vulnerable with each word I write, yet bolder than ever. I plan to spill it all out and if you care to read, please do. As a stay-at-home mom, I am at a strange crossroads in life. My children are in school all day, my husband has built a career for himself and now here I am. Waiting. Waiting for a lift off to something different. Writing gives me a sense of taking a journey. A journey that I finally have the time to take. Maybe it will be that little boost of fulfillment that I crave....I'll try anyhow.